the dream continues

i remember having a dream more than a year ago, march '07. i posted the whole story here [link].

anyway, a year later on march '08, i had another dream. surprisingly, it was the continuation of that dream.. here, i will try to describe in detail what i saw, heard and felt in my dream.

... she hugged me from behind, while going down the stairs. i smiled and went on walking, with her following closely behind me.

just ahead was an exit of some sort, with a light so bright, it blinded me. we took the exit, and found ourselves blinking in the sun. the black-and-white asphalt world was gone, and was replaced by a beautiful garden, with fresh grass and the aroma of flowers and fruits all around.

i was suddenly aware that she was standing right beside me, on my right side. she took my hand, and squeezed it. in the corner of my eye, i thought i recognized her! i turned away, afraid to look and find out who she was.

she laughed a familiar laugh - too familiar. it was the laugh of a child at play, and the laugh of a graceful lady. the laugh of someone i cherished... could it be true..?

then i KNEW who she was. now i wanted to see, to know for sure. i turned and looked at her straight in the eyes. yes, it was indeed her. nonetheless, i was shocked, yet at the same time happy.

and there we were, standing in the sun, holding hands with the green grass all around. i was mesmerized.

she laughed and asked, "what? is there something on my face?"

i smiled back, and could only shake my head.

she pulled me forward, "c'mon, lets go!"

that's when i noticed that in the middle of the garden was a picnic set-up. there was a blanket laid on the grass and a basketful of food. there were plates, and utensils. when we sat down, some people i could not recognize started to arrive. they greeted us and we greeted them together. it was some sort of party, i guess. after all the guests had arrived, everyone started eating (it must've been qute a deep basket to give us so much food!XD).

me and the girl were the hosts during that time, i guess. but after everyone had their fill, the girl started to run around calling out "catch me, catch me!" in her typical childish yet cute voice.

i chased after her. everyone was either cheering us on, or teasing me and her. it was the run of my life. when i did get to catch her, it was my turn to hug her from behind. we were both breathless now, and so we walked back to the group - still cheering us on - hand in hand.

when i got to lie down on the blanket, i woke up.

welcome to the real world again.

i sat up, said a little prayer and went on with the day, smiling everytime i remembered the dream.

Things to do:

school will never be the same for me this semester. i will be giving more attention now to my studies than ever before, that means more overnights, paperworks, money-spending and etc...

here's a quick list of what we're supposed to do this sem:

-my thesis (havent picked a topic yet)
-Artificial Intelligence Implementation in a program(a "baby thesis" as what my professor calls it)
-Compter Interfacing "baby thesis" (no topic yet)
-Software Engineering Project (no topic yet)
-Library Statistics System (something the school requested me to do that which i have no choice but make.. =_=)

and that's aside from my academic studies, exams and quezzes!

for my other sunjects, we have to learn these programming languages:
-mOZart
-Scheme
-Haskell
-Cilk
-8051 microcontroller assembly language
-JSP


whew! God help me this sem...

SOMEONE HHACKED INTO MY FRIENDSTER!!X(

my friendster got hacked, and i KNOW WHO DID IT! comsci student here in msu-iit and logged into my account at the times in between 8-9pm last night, and apparently sent the attached message before changing my name to "judea" whatever, trying to spell out judas iscariot.

i guess someone sent you this message:

(THAT WAS NOT ME! darn it! this is crazy.. anyone who knows me will see that directly.. please tell the others that dont know..thanks guys..)

I've been wanting to tell you about something for a very long time. I don't really know how to tell it to you. I don't have the guts to tell it to you in face. I just want you to know that I've had feelings for you ever since I laid eyes on you. I want you to know that every time I look at you I feel a bulge in my pants. Every time I look at you I want to rub myself with honey and whipcream. I want to take you from behind. You and me will multiply.

Great is Thy Faithfulness

During the day, i have been meditating, and there were a lot of things on my mind. complaints, sacrifices, hardships, and stuff like that.. but then, somehow, looking back on what has been happening in my life, i find myself singing this old hymnal. i cried hearing myself sing these words and then, found contentment on what i have. God has always been faithful to me, and i know he will still remain so for as what the song says, "Thou changest not". I hope this song will speak to you as it had spoken to me...

 1.  Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
     There is no shadow of turning with Thee.
     Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
     As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

   Refrain:
     Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
     Morning by morning new mercies I see;
     All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
     Great is Thy Faithfulness, Lord unto me.

 2.  Summer and winter and spring-time and harvest,
     Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
     join with all nature in manifold witness
     To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

   Refrain

 3.  Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
     Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide,
     Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
     Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Random Rants

just because you're smart doesnt give you the right to trample on people like they're lesser than YOU.

yeah i know i dont know much like you, i know that im not as intelligent as you, but please do know that i also have feelings, and i get hurt at your snotty and sarcastic comments.

just because i know some things you dont know doesnt make me a master of those stuff. dont let your pride get to you ayt?

im a human being, just like you. im also prone to getting hurt when you excessively make fun of me, joke insults to my face or stab me on the back when im around. at first, i didnt mind all that, but i guess you just thought i wouldnt mind at all, so you did it more often. then it got on my nerves.

you never thought that i would notice how differently you treat me now? well, of course you didnt expect that! you expected me to be too dumb to see! well, surprise surprise, im smarter than what you think me to be.

you think i waste my time on useless stuff, on stuff that "cant be used for the future". by all means, im preparing for my ETERNAL FUTURE, unlike some who dream small and think "$" and the like. you're too narrow-minded. success is not the only thing we should look for in life. success is something tangible, yet temporary. you're successful at one point, and a failure at another. i choose to be content, but dont get me wrong, im doing my best in everything i do, because im not doing it for myself, but for my GOD.

you say i waste my time at church. i say it's time well-invested and well-spent. that is where i have learned what life is all about, and where i found a place i could call my home away from home.

you think im lazy, that im just a dead-weight to you. by all means, you may think of me like that! i wont try to change the way you think about me, but just to let you know, im doing more work that you cant see me, because i choose to work privately rather than publicly, not like you.

and lastly, i know i have my lapses and failures. im not capable of being the "best student", but i am someone who does tries his best to be. i do hope you would hold these against me, 'coz i havent held grudges against you as well, because i thought of you as friends.

sigh, im so sorry for ranting out like this... my emotions seemed to have swept me up in an uproar. i just cant let this pass me by. i may not be able to retiate, but i would say that i would be praying for you.

Honesty: How Far?

Someone once asked me a question about honesty in relationships. Though the question was straightforward, I had trouble answering it, 'coz I guess I used to have my own issues regarding this.XD But that's out of the scope of this topic, so we move on.

Anyway, the question was :
How honest should you be in a relationship?

Wuu, that put you on the spot to, didn't it?XD hahaha! Well, it took me a while to really think about it and i made some searching to this myself.. Yes, indeed, how honest should you be?
(and i do hope you're thinking about ALL relationships 'coz this is applicable to them ALL and not just the bf/gf type.XD)

hmm... for instance, you and a friend are eating out, and you notice something near your friend's mouth.. A BOOGER! (man, where do these things come from?XD) what do you do? well, who wants to be walking around with someone who has booger on their face? I thought so. But aside from silently trying to get separated, you could just tell that person in a discreet manner (don't try ""you've got rice on your lips" lest he/she tries to lick it off..XD eew!).hahahaha! But really, what I'm trying to point out here is that honesty helps, not only the person but also yourself.

But then again, HOW FAR?! okay, I'm trying to get there (my head is in complete disarray..XD) I guess, there are times that we need to be honest, and there are times that we should keep silent, and let another person be the honest one. Lemme try to think of an example: *ponders*

let's name the persons [A], [B] and [C]. [C] seems to be having a problem with person [B]'s attitude and tells [A] about it, but [B] unknowingly remains the same. Although [A] knows about the situation, he talks to [C] that it should be him that tells [B] his problem, and not [A] because [A] might look at [B] in a different way. You still with me?

One more thing about being honest is that you should be honest when you know it helps. If it isn't helpful, you're better off to shut up. It's like constructive criticism. We should build each other up, and not try to pull our friends down, besides, what friend would try to pul another down (ooh, boy, crab mentality...)?

It's really a cliche to close this with your standard "Honesty is the best policy" quote, so i guess it might be more appropriate to say: Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom (T. Jefferson). And indeed, it is so, for honesty might not be the best policy for everyone, but it's the best quality we can all learn.


hmm... so i guess that's that. That's all i can share for now. please do post your views and comments so that i may edit this if i made some mistakes.

Last Day of OJT

Well, my On-the-Job training here at Synnex-Concentrix (formerly Link2Support) CDO is almost done. At the end of the day, I'll be leaving this company, only to await the grade they give me and the next schoolyear ahead. My time here was fun. There were a lot of things I've learned, not only in the best practices of web programming and database designing, but also in security systems and network security.

But besides all that OJT stuff, I guess I learned a lot for the whole of summer, and enjoyed it with my family and friends. eeto.. I'll try to list what I did for the whole summer and the things I learned:

- Software should be updated regularly. Outdated software tend to become potential security vulnerabilities.
- I learned to solve the rubik's cube in less than 5 minutes. I'm still improving it to1 minute though..XD
- Programmed 2 database systems named "Online Change Management System" and "Serial Number Lookup".
- Sidelined as a PC Technician
- Got a new haircut (which, by the way, makes me look like a finhead..XD)
- Learned to eat pizza! Yay! hehehe! (My boss kept on treating us out to pizza)
- nihonggo naraimasui naosara desu! kampai! (learned a bit more Nihonggo)
- Got addicted to Tribalwars.net.. XD
- Learned a few more tricks in Photoshop
- Made another blog (my third blog---> kazuospeaks.blogspot.com)
- Joined my first medical/dental mission at Lapasan. Wee, that was really fun!
- Started drawing chibi people just for the fun of it.
- Downloaded music to the max!
- made my own version of "Teardrops on my guitar" (see one of my previous blog entries)

hmm... that's all I could think of so far.. nyahahaha!


oh well... me getting bored here so, i got to find some work to do for my accomplishment for form today..



ja ne!